Sunday, December 28, 2014

POSTMODERN PETROLOGY : ROCKS TOO YOUNG TO VOTE

In geology's long-lost golden age, students were taught that rocks are just ceramics that happen to have been made by  God.  Now, from the young island chain of Hawaii comes news of a  rock type far younger still,  that embodies deep time on a scale shallow enough to establish  a new foundation for the Anthropocene geological column:

An anthropogenic marker horizon in the future rock record
page1image1176
Patricia L. Corcoran, Dept. of Earth Sciences, University of Western Ontario, London, Ontario, Canada, N6A 5B7, pcorcor@ uwo.ca; Charles J. Moore, Algalita Marine Research Institute, Long Beach, California, 90803-4601, USA; and Kelly Jazvac, Dept. of Visual Arts, University of Western Ontario, London, Ontario, Canada, N6A 5B7

published in the Journal of the Geological Society of America, reports on a new sort of conglomerate formed by the action of lava on plastic debris in shoreline sediments:

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

ANNALS OF SELF-REFERENCE : " THE FILM WORKS ITS MAGIC "

The denialati are not the only ones 
to suffer irony malfunctions:

WHO'S SUPPOSED  TO  DISENCHANT THE TV AUDIENCE ABOUT THE DISCONNECT
 BETWEEN  POLEMIC  FILM MAKING  
AND THE HISTORY OF SCIENCE ?

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

VISCOUNT MONCKTON'S CRAZY IVAN

THE  LORDS -A- LEAPING  SEASON  IS  UPON  US !
Viscount Mockton,  self-styled "hydrodynamics advisor to Prime Minister Thatcher," and "Chairman of the Blue Riband Commission on the Trans-Atlantic speed record"  has gone ballistic with a WUWT stemwinder entitled  The Economics of the Madhouse, in which he avers  the UK power grid may soon:
" Install 1.2  GW of  new nuclear  capacity  each  year   ( the equivalent of two nuclear submarines ).  But --  insanity upon insanity-- the low-spec civilian-grade reactors they are going to buy from Hitachi cost six times as much as the high-spec, military-grade Rolls Royce reactors in our Trident submarines."
This has left submariners chuckling silently but deeply,  as the largest extant marine propulsion reactors are rated under 200 megawatts thermal, and a very big, very fast sub gets enough steam from a sixty megawatt (.06 GW) pair to leap half out of the water as shown above.

No 600 megawatt propulsion reactors exist, and the .18 GW reactors that power carriers and other capital ships are physically too large to fit within a sub hull, a fact that soon impresses itself on technology S-2's to  Cold War  novelists obliged to  crawl around the engineering spaces in question.


My late coauthor must be smiling at Monckton's modest proposal, for while the thunder of  three quarters of a million shaft horsepower might scare the planckton and pop the ears of sonarmen for 20,000 leagues in all directions, it would provide  turns enough to scare the hell out of the craziest Ivan in the seven seas.


VISIT SUNNY SIBERIA , LAND OF HAIL AND METEORITES

Climate change adventure tourists and Siberiaks run for their lives as golf ball hail bombards the banks of the Ob:

Saturday, December 20, 2014

PYRAMIDOLOGY IN THE PITCH PATCH

Have climate activists underestimated the enterprise of  
Calgary's  Tarsandinistas?

There is more to Canadian enthusiasm for  geoengineering than carbon taxation  anxiety or  a desire to embrace global warming to escape the region's  Goddawful winters. 

Besides hosting Earth's largest tar sand deposit, the giant  Athabasca field,  Alberta boasts the world's sourest gas wells, and is awash in the inevitable by-product of high-sulfur oil & gas production: more sulfur.

Even where glaciers have ground the  Canadian Shield flat as a flapjack,  Athabascans do not lack for ski hills. The face of the great white north is pimpled with giant yellow piles of elemental sulfur from  gas and bitumen oil production  

Albertans tired of trying to export into a glutted global brimstone market where among the first to hail  Paul Crutzen's proposal to boost stratospheric albedo with megaton injections of aerosols at high latitudes, for his call to solve the problem of Anthropocene climate change has led to a plenum of schemes for spraying sulfur aloft using everything from artillery and air tankers to balloon-borne fire hoses stretching to the  stratosphere.

By far the cheapest of all these dicey schemes uses what  Alberta has in abundance at an ideal latitude for emulating the cooling effect of volcanoes. Sulfur dioxide clouds are the basis of geoengineering 101, and the corporate Pharaohs of the  Pitch Patch  produce enough sulfur to pile up a  Great Pyramid a year for several dynasties to come.

All carbon taxation activists need to deter geoengineering research is to persuade the Tarsandinista elite that they can instead achieve profitable immortality the old fashioned way!
Egyptian tourism is tanking as global temperatures and Islamist tempers rise, but the brutal summer heat is setting the stage for a takeover of the  King Tut Tourism franchise by a cooler country.  Canada could reap  Pharaonic profits by renaming the  Athabasca River the Black Nile and erecting a theme park featuring tastefully tawny full-size sulfur replicas of every pyramid and temple from Giza to  Abu Simbel.

Sulfur concrete is a mature technology- just add sand to molten brimstone and pour  like popsicles into obelisk molds.  When sulfur Sphinxes and Memnonic colossi can be banged out for a pittance, why blow a million dollars on a few minutes of space tourism when the same money can turn you into an instant  Ozymandias?

What's not to like about a forty foot  statue of yourself gazing out for eternity over the awestruck heads of Canadian Disney-goers!

If  Northumbrian coal barons, ( and the odd Earl ) can enlist earth art in the service of their polemics , why not the Great White North?

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

STRANGE BREW AT THE AGU

Willard A. Watts,  Science Prohibitionist  extraordinaire
has brought the gimlet eye of climate skepticism to bear
on the beer supply of geophysics.
He writes from the Fall AGUmeeting:
"The poster sessions seemed to have doubled in size… it might have been due to the free beer provided by AGU:
Yet Watts uttered nary a wail as he ordered free drinks from the free bar at Heartland's first ICCC conference, nor did he and fellow WCTU ( Wassailing Coolista Temperance Union ) members cry in their beer as they bellied up to the free bar at Heartland's last ICCC conference, staged at that bastion of sobriety, 

 So raise a glass of Yuletide cheer to Watts for AGU snapshots that testify the California drought has raised a powerful  thirst:

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

THE ICEBERG COMETH

HAVING SAILED THESE WATERS BEFORE, I'M SINCERELY FLATTERED BY WHAT FOLLOWS,  

WHERE can Tony Watts TURN WHEN TIM BALL RUNS OUT OF  Mein Kampf  quotes?  TRY  BOB TISDALE:


IF FANS OF Stalin & THE KAISER CRY GODWIN MIT UNS!, ADMIRAL BOB CAN TURN TO COMMODORE MUELLER'S vergeltungsflotte:



Sunday, November 30, 2014

THE ANTHROPOCENE ? IT'S GREEK TO ME.

 HAVING  DISCOVERED  THAT
 SITS ATOP  THE THEOGENE,  TITANOCENE AND  CLASSICAL ERAS
POSTMODERN GEOLOGISTS HAVE DUG FURTHER INTO
 THE  SEMIOTIC COLUMN  
TO UNEARTH A  BOOK OF CAUTIONARY FABLES ABOUT 
THE PRECAUTIONARY PRINCIPLE. 
THS APPARENT PREQUEL TO  LUCIAN'S 

 SUGGESTS  THE  CLIMATE  WARS ANTEDATE THE  TROJAN WAR :  


ABOVE,  THE  FRONTISPIECE OF  DE BELLO CLIMATICO,  BELIEVED  TO  SHOW
THE EARLIEST KNOWN COMPUTER CLIMATE SIMULATION
It begins with a paean praising the President of the
Interpantheonic Panel ON Climate  Change 
Zeus,  Father of Gods  and  men ,
  hailing  his  wisdom  in  commissioning Hephaestus 
to  build the legendary 
Antikythera  2-D Analog Cosmos Model
to  help  the  Gods  evaluate warnings  of
global  warming from thunderbolt doubling 
at the end of The Titanocene Era.

it  tells how FOAM FOOTED APHRODITE  
struck far-seeing  Icarus  
 systems  programmer  of the  Gods 
 with  love for
  Phoebe,  muse of  solar  radiation  management,



 AND HOW HE 
threw the brazen computing engine overboard
near Antikythera to placate  earth-shaking  Poseidon
after the  God threatened to inundate Olympus
if  the  IPCC  mandated  ambrosia rationing.

De Bello Climatico  ends on a tragic note, with the
extinction   of  the  entire  Greek  Pantheon, demigods, muses & nymphs included, and their replacement by an assortment of New Age ' monotheistic ' religions, like the dread and bloody handed cult of  ISIS,  which explains the work's  Aesopian  moral :





Thursday, November 27, 2014

ONE ONE GIANT GOOSE STEP BACKWARDS


Watts has been gobsmacked to the moustache roots by a post that flew under his censors radar last Sunday. 

Throwing good sense and Godwin's Law to the winds, WUWT arts gauleiter Tim Ball delivered this honking addition to the party line:

"When you understand what Adolf Hitler is saying in the quote from “Mein Kampf” above, you realize how easy it was to create the political formula of Agenda 21 and the scientific formula of the IPCC."   
Herr Doktor Ball waded  even deeper into the kultursmog this week with a gonzo attack on George Monbiot.

The weirdness of eliding marxistante Guardian drones with dead National Socialists seems lost on Watts' 
Dunning-Kruger Bruderbund, but Ball's silly walk has his academic familiars cackling:


Somewhat ?  Ambiguous enough to send Tarsandinistas and The Tea Party rallying to Ball's warning that a Nazi Warmist conspiracy lies behind the Big Lie of radiative forcing:
Phillip       
Dr Ball, your article is appreciated. In my view, the comparison with Hitler is entirely apt. 
Godwins law is an internet meme with no weight in logical argument. It is just another way for the politically correct to tell you to “shut up”.
 Shub Niggurath 
“This post is entirely the opinion of Dr. Tim Ball”  
Not really, I agree with him completely and so do lots of other people I know...This has always been political, not scientific. It does not make you a conspiracy theorist if you can see what is really happening here over time. 
Stephen Richards  

Edwards and Betts continue to spout their deniertribe and their massive increase in global temperature and their massive floods to come and their give us the money now and we will save you from disaster... I do not want to hear their pathetic gripeing.

Tony B said :Many of us who are sceptical of the AGW meme (but not of constant climate change) are trying to build bridges, don’t think all climate scientists are dishonest or stupid... The AGW crowd are a very long way from that witness the cry for another £97m from the UK Met O when they know their models are useless.

Secondly, saying the crimascologist are not stupid implies they are deceitful for they must be supporting the more fraudulent members of their profession for this scam to have continued for soooo long.

























Tuesday, November 25, 2014

MANN v. STEYN : DON'T TELL THE JURY

As the scales of justice begin to twitch in  Mann v. Steyn, time remains to admit in evidence the defendent's  National Review columns, including this quote:
"As in the Congolese civil war, where both sides agreed that pygmies made excellent appetizers,  in the Egyptian political standoff...  both pro and anti-Morsi forces agree on little else except that the chicks are fair game...   
This is why President Morsi keeping his first lady in a body bag is more than a fashion statement, but a statement about ... the justice system..."

And tasteful MarkSteyn.Com swag like  a T-shirt emblazoned :
that could leave the jurors wondering :    Is the lady on Mark's left 
                                                                       his  fiance', or his lunch?

Monday, November 24, 2014

PETROLOGY FOR POETS

THE NEW YORK REVIEW 
OF POSTMODERN GEOLOGY
Deconstructing the un-natural history of the anthropocene epoch since 2006
The Anthropocene promises to be the first geological interval since the Cretaceous-Tertiary  Extinction in which all rocks get to be famous for 15 minutes. The brave new epoch has already seen the television debut of a  ready for prime time gypsum deposit that puts Industrial Light & Magic's best SFX to shame.

The crystal cave's high Nielsen rating has led to a media gold rush as producers prospect for out-of-this-world terrestrial geology, subjecting the few geology libraries to survive the Holocene-Anthropocene Extinction to unaccustomed queues as writers flock to read NYRPG 's annual review of postmodern petrology, which includes:
Macadamite
While most sedimentary strata  form extensive landscape-covering horizontal sheets, hydrocarbon rich macadamite occurs only as thin two dimensional stringers or veins that often bear rectangular  metallic geode-like structures containing vertibrate fossils.
Interwoven vein masses of macadamite of astonishing extent and complexity have been mapped in Southern California, and form a continuous belt extending atop Cretaceous formations from Maryland to Massachusetts.
Saddamite   
More mafic than Maccadamite, this high-temperature no-pressure  liticc facies results from extreme local warming of holocene tar sands in Kuwait.
Saddamite consists of  sand grains in a matrix of carbon black and pyrolized asphaltenes, a petrogenesis  that defies explanation.  While high nickel and vanadium porphyrin levels suggest an  origin in marine cretaceous petroleum, no natural or commercial explanation exists for the infernal thermal fluxes needed to generate pure carbon in such amounts, nor do type specimens show signs of natural catastrophe or nuclear winter weathering.

Trinitite
The earliest dated rock of the Postmodern epoch is a green-violet, obsidian-like fused lithic 
The holotype,  a thin stratum of  un-natural glass emplaced in a shallow anticline in the White Sands of New Mexico. has a tritium age of 6.9 milli-eons, slightly older than deposits in the Terminal Showa formation of southern Japan. Kazakhstan, China's Lop Nor basin, Nevada, India, Pakistan and some islands in French Polynesia.


Tellerite 
An ephemeral water-soluble calcian variety of trinitite that resembles popcorn while it lasts. It was briefly reported on some now vanished Pacific coral atolls, but the holotypes disintegrated in the first rains to fall following the H-bomb tests that created them. Highly enriched in transuranic elements, all trinitite species look far older than their years.
Cryabase
The new discipline of meteopetrology focuses on cryabase, the only terrestrial rock consisting enirely of condensed air.  

The minerals found in this paragon of geological minimalism include native oxygen and nitrogen, ice  II, IIIb & IV crystals , priestlyite (the carbon analog of silica) ,,and  minute crystalites of argon,  Freon, neon, krypton and radon .
The type locality at Cape Canaveral features aircicles and frost-like masses surrounding  liquid hydrogen tanks, where cryabase  avalanches were first noted as a cause of self-inflicted meteor damage to Space Shuttles.

While rare outside the Kuiper Belt, cryabase is expected to become depressingly common in the inner solar system if Senator Inhofe's views on global warming  are correct.


Caution should be exercised in collecting cryabase samples, as geologists' picks tend to embrittle severely at frozen air temperatures, and the temptation to lick field samples for a better view of microstructure can lead to severe frostbite of the tongue.
Saganite
Phenomenally cold and dark variety of cryabase. Arbitrarily small amounts in atmosperic suspension can reportedly able to  lower global temperatures below freezing for 40 days and 40 nights, but the report published in Science in 1983 seems to have been based on misindentification of the related species, apocryphite, found in many factoid deposits, but lacking the valuable consciuosness raising properties of the material originally published . See Ttaprophyre 
Ttaprophyre A geometaphysical phase arising from hermeneutic metamorphism of a factoidite melange during high-pressure deformation professionel. Ttaprophye was discovered  by Johnny Carson in 1983 when 'nuclear winter' suddenly outcropped on The Tonight Show during the Cold War. On skeptical examination, Saganite, ( not to be confused with Cosmochlore),  proved  to be the reified product of  a PR campaign, semiotically indistinguishable from the War of the Worlds symplectite repored in 1938 by Welles et al. from  near Grovers Mills New Jersey.
The Ground Zero Gneiss
Known only from deposits in lower Manhattan, this so far unique product of political catastophism is a mylonized migmatite containing portlandite and powdery gypsum,  asbestos fibers , and enormous laths and corrugated sheets of metallic iron with a grain structure suggesting hot deformation. Some layers contain mica-like sheets of carbonized fossil cellulose with angular markings more legible than graphic granites, many pertaining to world trade.

The Tora Bora Metapeltites
Some anthopocene cave deposits in the Hindu Kush and Waziristan syntaxis show signs of shock and awe  deformation. Extensive contamination with clasts of lead and depleted uranium frustrated  early efforts by petrologists seeking to collect the $50 million reward offered for a specimen lage enough for  positive DNA identification of the elusive binladenite phase, later found in a conglomerate structure atop the Abbotttabad greenschists.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Mann v. Steyn : Approaching The Bench From The Penalty Box

AFTER THREATENING TO  -BRAIN THE JUDGE- SUBMIT AMICUS  BRIEFS
PALO OCCIDI  AND  NOLLE PERCUSSI   
 THE  ST. TRINIAN'S  THIRD  FORM  TORTS  &  HOCKEY  CLUB
HAS JOINED THE MARK STEYN DEFENSE TEAM

Sunday, November 9, 2014

HOW MANY ECONOMISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A CLIMATE POLICY?


ONE,
 IF IT'S MILTON FRIEDMAN 
If you're looking for intelligent life in mid-America,
try the University of Chicago
before you turn to the Heartland Institute

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

ANNALS OF BELATED DISCOVERY : THE EAST POLE

The Age of Discovery endures:
A map of palaeomagnetic field drift published by Italian and American researchers  in   Geophysical Journal International ,  based  on  a continuous sequence  of   lacustrine  sediments  outcropping in  the Apennines  reveals that in the 787th millennium BC, Earth boasted an East Magnetic Pole near  Latitude 0  Logitude 0 in the Bight of Benin.

It follows that for as long as it took for the magnetsphere's focal point to drift across the Equator, tropical nights were brightened by the light of the Aurora Orientalis shining over the Prime Meridian:


 On the far side of the world in the same brief epoch, Homo erectus could marvel at the Aurora Occidentalis illuminating the Pacific around the West Magnetic Pole in the waters north of Tuvalu.
 Now that Sagnotti et al.'s 

Extremely rapid directional change during Matuyama-Brunhes geomagnetic polarity reversal

has rewritten the history of polar discovery at right angles to Perry & Amundsen, the RGS and National Geograpic can offer a prize for the first expedition to gather direct evidence of East and West Polar palaeomagnetism from the seabed around 0o0o  and  0o, 180o.


Once the great drill ship, wind surfer & submarine race from pole to pole is over, a new era of quadrupole modeling can begin!