TOSS ANOTHER POMMY ON THE CRICKET PITCH, BRUCE THE SHARKS HAVE FROZEN IN BOSTON

NOTHING TO SEE 
HERE JUST  MOVE  ALONG

As the waters of Boston harbor rose to the highest seal level seen in the last four  centuries, and  the lowest temperatures in four generations froze thresher sharks solid on the shores of Cape Cod,  the unsinkable Willy Watts floated  this  tea party-friendly prevarication:

Meanwhile in the Antipodes, unsubtle signs of record-shattering include surfers felled by heatstroke at Bondi Beach,  exploding beer tins, and tennis and Test Matches  called off  by temperature readings high enough to make even Coal  Coast PR philosophers swoon.  
The BBC reports:

SO  THAT'S  WHY  THEY  CALL  IT  THE  ASHES